First of all, Sweetheart, love--true love--is not a free for all. It doesn´t mean accepting any and all behaviour out of someone, nor does it mean being happy for the bad choices made by those we cherish. True love embodies three things. First, it means giving our best to others by choice. Secondly, it mean wanting the very best for another because we know that is what will make them truly happy in the long run. Thirdly, it means making the choice to continue with them on the journey of life even when they reject us.
People keep pushing GOD on you, as you put it, because they know that the whole purpose of life, first and foremost, is to know, love and serve Him--because only when we do this can we find true and lasting happiness and peace in life and meaningful relationships with others. And, frankly, Love, by your own description, you sound seriously unhappy. Fifteen year old kids don´t smoke pot for fun--they smoke pot, drug, drink, have sex and whatever else to escape some serious pain they aren´t willing or able to deal with. So, maybe instead of asking why all these ´´religious fuckers`` are on your tail, you should really be asking ´´why wouldn´t they be?``
Now, here`s the funniest part of all of this mess you`ve helped create in the dominant paradigm you live--artists have spent centuries in the Church being misunderstood by less creative minds. Does that absolve you of responsibility for your part in the squabbles? Absolutely not. You´re a big boy--and part of choosing your own path means learning to pick your battles....or not....
If you were my son, living under my roof, you´d be going to church with the rest of the family whether you like it or not. My house, my rules. When you own your own home, pay your own bills and aren´t eating the food off my own table, then you can ignore GOD until the cows come home. But if you were my child, I wouldn´t just be on your tail--I´d be sending you to a Brothers school to learn some manners. Yep, that´s right.
If you want to be respected for your beliefs or lack there of, you first need to respect your betters which, according to your own accounting of things, you don´t.
You are fifteen years old and guess what??? You aren´t even close to knowing all that you think you do. So, here´s the gist of everything for you to think on:
Just as a parent does´not stop loving and caring for a child when they do things that we know will hurt them or others, we still discipline them for their own good. I love my brother who is gay, but that does not mean that I accept behaviour that I know is detrimental to him and others. Tolerance is not love--not even close. In fact, in many cases, tolerance is really apathy...or even antipathy.
You know when you should really start to worry, ´´Annoyed``? When they stop asking you to discuss, stop asking you to church, stop trying to help you make your life better than it evidentally is--because it´s then when you´ll realise that all those so-called idiots really did mean the best for you.
Look, Love, I worked in hospitals for fifteen years and I never saw a gay man die of complications from their lifestyle that they didn´t only regret, but that didn´t cost them valuable relationships with friends and family because they themselves pushed everyone away. Nor did I ever have a patient who at some point didn´t ask to be prayed with, for, or to see a priest. You may be perfectly fine with the depressing hedonism you espouse now but, when it comes down to brass tacks, you really have no idea what it is you´re doing.
You want to reject GOD, fine--He´ll let ya! Śalvation is always a choice. But in the meanwhile, try acting like you´re worthy of being left to make your own decisions instead of some foul-mouthed demanding brat without a clue. True artists know that real art comes from a wellspring of love and profound respect--and you can´t tell me you´re a real artist with the chip you´re carrying on your shoulder.
I´ll keep you on my list of intentions and hold you up in prayer from now on....
In His Grace, miki
