You can become your daughter's good friend but letting go of any “history” that you might have with her that was unpleasant.  If you respect her right to be herself, and let her make her own choices, you are on the right path.   She needs to know that you have faith in her judgment and in her ability to follow her heart and chase her dreams.   Also, if you can communicate with her when asked, and carefully hold back from giving advice, unless it is solicited; she will come to know that she can confide in you without being criticized.  Never hold a poor decision against her, and remember that she may look or actually be all grown up, but inside she is still your little girl, and guess what, she knows it!!

This is a great question.  For I am trying to figure this out with my 10 year old since I don't get to be a physical mom just chat with her on the phone and write letters to her.

I just listen to her and ask her questions and try to let her tell me what is going on in her life.  Like today, I chatted with her then told her I was sad.  She said don't be sad mom,  I said can I cry, no she says.  Be happy, then I am happy mom.  I said ok, I just miss you.  And she said well if dad let us we will see is other in alittle while.  I said ok then I will be happy. 

But I try real hard not to let her know how I feel, for I know that she seems to feel this way.  So I try to just stay focused on her.  I think a mom should just be there no matter what and they will come to them.  Hopefully this help.

And remember Jesus loves you both and will help you in your heart.  kc